Overwhelmed.

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to go "home" to Kansas City and walk the stage to receive my Masters Degrees in Organizational Leadership and Psychology. I wasn't going to go - many don't and just take advantage of the "send me my degree" option. But I knew that I would regret not going. Was I ever right. I spent the weekend with family and friends, eating my favorite BBQ and visiting my favorite places in my old stomping ground. I said goodbyes and gave hugs that weren't given when we left so abruptly this spring.

But when Sunday came, my world felt so different. I can't even express the feelings that came over me as I hugged and met my classmates, many of whom I'd never met because we were spread all over the world. We walked in with our advisor/lead professor/sponsor who was there from Australia. We marched in behind a drum and bagpipe corp into the auditorium. As each of our names were called, we were hooded, and congratulated by our sponsor, the Board chair and the University president. I soaked in each moment. Because for me, this was more than just graduation.

It meant so much more to me than my undergrad did. I paid for this degree myself (or, am going to) with money that I worked hard to earn. I did it while raising a family, being a wife/mother, working full time, and building my Beachbody business to a top 1% coach. I did it with influenza that hospitalized me, major shoulder surgery and rehabilitation, recovering from a seizure, moving across the country, starting a huge new job, working through the loss of my grandmother and the sudden death of one of my staff members. I may have "deserved" my bachelor's degree for getting good grades and learning my stuff. But I EARNED my Masters degrees. My heart was so full of pride and gratitude, it overwhelmed me.

I was also overcome with joy that my parents were there to witness it. Both of them have faced life-threatening health issues in the last decade. I'm the first in my family to reach this educational milestone, and they were there to see it. And they were there when I was offered a job as a professor.

A few days later, I celebrated my 15th wedding anniversary. When we got married, we were 20, I was still in college and we had our whole world ahead of us. In the years since, we've raised a very sick young man who, for the first time in his life, seems healthy and thriving. We struggled with infertility, medical bills that sunk us, we declared medical bankruptcy paying for our son's care, we lost all of our grandparents, nearly lost all of our parents, got through five relocations, and so much more. I thank the Lord every day for my partner through life, but on our anniversary, I am especially grateful for the memories we share and the future that stands before us. Maybe, just MAYBE, we're on a path to brighter, lighter days after weathering the storm.

A song on the radio stopped me in my tracks today, and captured exactly how I have been feeling.

I see the work of Your Hands
Galaxies spin in a Heavenly dance, oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming.

I hear the sound of Your Voice,
All at once it’s a gentle and thundering noise, oh God
All that You are is so overwhelming.

I delight myself in You,
Captivated by Your beauty,
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You.

God, I run into Your arms,
Unashamed because of mercy,
I’m overwhelmed, I’m overwhelmed by You.

Praise God for the gift of being overwhelmed.