The One Year Mark

My doctor told me that it could take "Up to a year" to heal completely after my hysterectomy. So today is the last day it can stop hurting. I kind of doubt that - in my efforts to be an overachiever, I tore a muscle in my anterior abdominal wall (and you're not about to put me under the knife to fix it), so a little twinge now and again is livable compared to the torture I was going through before having a 10-inch gash in my gut and major organs removed!

It was about three months after the surgery that I fell apart. I allowed myself to start the physical healing (I only took 2 weeks off of work, I'm such an idiot), but I never truly allowed myself to heal emotionally. It occurred to me one day that I really never would have another baby. I had worked so hard to have the two I had, and I loved them with every fiber of my being, but knowing that even if I WANTED to have another one (which didn't, and really still don't), I CAN'T. I fell into a million pieces and spent a whole day in bed crying. No one questioned it. Those who had been in my shoes understood.

But now that I've hit the one year mark, I can look back and be glad that I did it. I had tried to avoid it by first having an endometrial ablation and my tubes tied the year before (almost to the date). It failed. It was the first failure my surgeon had on his record. GO ME! But it didn't get better...then the baseball sized tumor developed and there really wasn't another choice.

And in the last year, I've lost weight, gained tremendous amount of muscle, lost inches, started kickboxing and doing hard-core ab work, and go to the gym almost daily. I've realized that even as a mommy and wife, you have to give time to yourself. A fit, healthy, strong body is important to taking care of everyone else. There really is something to that "In the event of a loss of air pressure, put your mask on first before helping others" philosophy.

AND, my two beautiful children are gifts that my body gave me. I'm so dang lucky to have them. If I hadn't when I did, I wouldn't have at all. God is so good. I'm so glad I can be a better ME for them because of the major decision I made.

Happy Hysterectomy Day to Me.