We almost made it...

Wednesday came and went. We logged six hours in the peds department at the hospital while our son got his "Super juice" (aka plasma and immunoglobulins) in his IV. He was such a champ...and aside from a hospital lunch that gave me a stomache from hell, the day was much better than I anticipated. Thank GOD.

That evening, our son did complain of a headache. But they said that was normal. Turkey day arrived. He woke up happy and while I kept a watchful eye on him all day, I was fairly hopeful that his body had accepted the super juice and we'd gotten past hurdle #1 in our monthly "new normal."

But then the headache got worse as the day wore on. He didn't want to eat. He didn't want to play. He wanted to go to bed. I started to panic. At 7am Friday, he came into my room crying that his head hurt. So I gave him tylenol and told him to lay back down. As is my usual day-after-Thanksgiving routine, I started getting out decorations, because I knew if I just sat and stared at him and asked him 200 times how he felt, that we'd both go crazy.

But then the bawling started. He held his head, laid down on the hardwood floor and cried that his head hurt. It HURT. WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD? The tears became wails. I picked up the phone and called the doctor. At home. ER - stat.

Then the vomiting started. And didn't stop. I called my husband at work and told the security guard who answered the phone that if he didn't get my husband NOW, that I'd have a police officer come and get him instead- he quickly patched me through. Grandma came and took our daughter and off we went - 15 miles of our son vomiting in the back seat and me crying to my husband on the cell phone as he raced to meet us there.

Here we are, 26 hours later, still in the hospital. It was determined that he had a delayed, rare reaction to his treatment. Sudden severe headache, nausea, vomiting, stiff neck, dizziness and body aches? Yup. Apparently his super juice also contained cryptonite.

For the first time in his brave young life, we saw him cry when the IV was started. He'd just reached his limit. He didn't want ANY MORE. I cried and panicked more than ever. I held his hand and sat on the edge of the chair all night. For 13 straight hours, he threw up. He laid in the bed at bawled. And I asked myself - is this medicine that is supposed to make him better really worth making him so sick? They might as well name it "chemo." My husband and I didn't even have to talk - our looks and hand squeezes told me we were thinking the same thing.

We go back to the immunologist on Monday to figure this out. Do we continue? Do the benefits outweigh the risks? Will THIS be our new normal? When our son looks back on his childhood, is this what he will remember? Lord, please guide us.