Circle of Life

In the last month, we've had a wave of death in our family. None of the family members who have gone on ahead of us were extremely close to us in proximity or in relationship. I knew them all, visited them all, have memories of them all - mostly from childhood. But it doesn't really matter how many times we saw each other, they were family. And their absence now is an all to present reminder that life moves too fast.

About a month ago, my dad's cousin, Joey, died suddenly of a heart attack. He was my dad's age, and those two boys, as well as my uncle, grew up together. When I was a teenager, we took a road trip that Joey was part of - I will always remember riding up the St. Louis Arch with him in the elevator - and he was scared to death of elevators and heights. Yeah, imagine that experience!

Joey's mother, who was my grandfather's niece (you follow?) then died a few weeks ago. She was always my "Aunt" Edriss, although she was actually second-cousin-once-removed or some such thing. All I know is that she was family. And she made awesome bread. I remember waking up in her house to the smell of freshly baked bread.

Then last week, something very unexpected and sad occurred - the deaths of my grandfather's last remaining sibling - Mina, and her husband, Jim. She was the last living true-blood of my grandpa's family. She and Jim ended their lives together in their home, leaving a note for their daughters. They were 83 and 85. Mina was a hoot. She wore red glasses, always had little bows in her hair (think Sally from the Dick Van Dyke Show) and was spunkier than anyone should be. She was the first woman and Republican to serve in the Oklahoma House of Representatives, 44th seat.

The last time I saw them was at grandpa's funeral five years ago, and I have a moment in my memory where she embraced my grandma and they shared quiet words and tears. Seeing them embrace brought me chills. The memory still does.

My grandpa was one of six children - Melissa, Anna (Edriss's mother), Harry, Geneva, Grandpa and Mina. Their parents, Joseph and Cora, were farmers and Cora's father was a doctor - and actually assisted in the delivery of most of the children. I don't know much more than that about my grandfather's upbringing, but I do know that of the children that remain - those that would be my father's generation, and then their children, my generation - have a lot of wonderful memories of this family. We're spread from New York to Indiana to Kansas, yet facebook and the internet keep us in each other's living rooms.

As this eldest generation of the family comes to an end - my grandmother and Harry's widow, Dorothy, remain - it becomes ever so clear to me what it means to share family history, stories and memories with the youngest generations, so that they can proudly carry on the family name. I work in a library filled with ancestry and genealogical resources that I promote to others - and I think it's time I take my own advice and see what it can do for ME.

On the flipside, my grandmother, dad and mom spent the weekend in Texas, visiting Grandma's brother - her last remaining sibling. The symmetry is eerie. He has days or maybe weeks, until cancer takes his life. Another member of that generation will leave us his legacy, and then my grandmother will remain. How very blessed I am to have her still in my life, and that of my children, so that the memories of her love and strength will remain with us for generations to come.

My cousin, Sarah, is expecting her first child in November, on my grandmother's birthday. What a fitting time for a new child to come into our family, to complete the circle of life.