Losing Battles and Awaiting Vacation

Tomorrow, I will be able to say "Tomorrow, I'm leaving on vacation." So that makes this my tomorrow eve. Or something like that.

Thirteen years is a L.O.N.G time to wait for a honeymoon/vacation with JUST my man. NO work. NO kids. NO financial burdens. Just us. It's time.

But time is ticking...and as it does, we seem to be sliding around on the slippery slope of failure. I'm not one to easily admit defeat, but I just don't know how many battles I have left in me. As you know, we beat our insurance company and won the right to give our son the medical treatment he needs to stay on his feet in February. We knew then that it was a "temporary approval." However, we did NOT anticipate (I guess we're naive and presumptuous like that) that SIX MONTHS LATER, we'd be fighting again. They have decided his treatment is no longer necessary - I guess six months cures kids of diseases they've had their whole life - and they want to see labs. They want these labs NOW, when he still has serum in his bloodstream from his last treatment.

So we're left in a quandry. Give them the labs, and then:
a) Give him serum that is donated from the pharmaceutical company to keep him going, or
b) Have him go without the treatment to see if his levels drop off so that we we have fighting ammunition going into flu season.

My husband voted a. I voted b. But I came around, thinking of withholding medicine from my child KNOWING he will get sick.

I called the pharmaceutical company to set things in motion. And they vote b, too. They had initally said they'd donate. But now, they too, are TICKED OFF at our insurance company and think that if we wait, even just another month, that he'll get an infection and we can say "SEE, WE TOLD YOU SO" and be able win the battle, to get him treatment going into flu season. They think if they donate and we juice him up, he'll feel better, BUT, we won't be able to prove a thing to insurance.

So, how do you feel about gambling with your child's health? It makes me sick to my stomach and gives me a kink in my neck so tight, that I have to take pain medication for it. Did I mention that tomorrow I'll be able to say "Tomorrow I'm going on vacation"? I cannot WAIT to board that plane.

I guess being Tink doesn't mean much if the fairy dust has all evaporated.