Holy Pretend World, Batman!

I’ve always thought my son had a good concept of fantasy versus reality. He’s never been scared of scary movies like Jurassic Park or Transformers because “they weren’t real – it couldn’t REALLY happen.”

But Superhero stuff seems to be a different world all unto itself. An alternate universe, perhaps?

He’s really into superheroes. He can name hundreds of characters from the different universes, tell you their powers and their genealogy. He’s been a superhero for Halloween every year except his first year, when I made him be Tigger. He wasn’t old enough to have a say.

But the other night, he said something that caught me off guard.

“We have to move to San Francisco or New York soon.” Um, why do we have to do that, I thought. But instead I just glared at him, mystified. “I need tall buildings if I’m going to hone in on my Spiderman skills.”

I said, “You don’t have Spiderman skills.”

“Not yet. But what if I get bitten by a spider?”

He was serious. He’s 9. I’m not kidding! And he truly believes there is a Gotham City – he wants to go there for vacation. Instead, my husband is trying to convince me (and our budget) that we should go to Marvel Hero Universe at Universal Studios. Like that won’t confuse him more.

Add to this the fact that my husband is an avid comic book collector/distributor and writes reviews for Marvel and DC Comics, and you can see why our son’s perception is skewed. Transformers are pretend. Superheroes are real.

When I told him that I saw Ryan Reynolds in LA this summer, he had no idea who that was. “He played Green Lantern” I said. “Did he have his suit on?” He didn’t get that it was just the GUY who PRETENDED to be Green Lantern. “Well, the REAL Green Lantern wouldn’t be in the movie, mom, duh.”

I suppose it doesn't help that his name is Cale. And Superman is Cal-el. And we named our dog after Clark Kent's dog. And he turns into Hulk when he's on his steroids. Shall I continue, or do you get the picture?

Oy vey.