I have known so many woman who have commented that when they are pregnant, they feel like an "alien" is growing inside of them. I never felt that way. It felt right and perfect, and I mourned a little when they came into the world that I didn't get to keep them all to myself anymore! However, that alien feeling perfectly describes - not the baby - but in my case, the uterus iteself.
It's been almost 6 weeks since my hysterectomy. I thought that I would feel bare, empty, barren. Instead, I just felt pain. Now that the healing is nearing completion, instead of those empty feelings I anticipated, I instead feel whole. That seems ironic to me. The toxins, oversized organs, infection, scarring, stretch marks, tumor and pain is gone. I have two beautiful children that this organ provided to me, yet less pain, more fun with my husband (ah-hem) and don't know why I stressed about losing a part of myself. It's not like I was defined by my uterus.
They say everything happens for a reason - I had my children (some say) too young - but I wouldn't have them at all had I waited. And while news of a tumor sent rage through me, it was benign and after removing the alien that caused me so much daily grief, I feel like a new person.
Yep, everything happens for a reason.
2 comments:
I kept wanting to tell you that my friend Laura felt fantastic after her hysterectomy and didn't realize just how much pain she was in until all that scarred tissue came out. However, I didn't want to psych you up in case you didn't have the same experience. I'm so glad it worked out for you! Hooray for feeling good... and for hubby fun :)
It's great to hear you feeling so good! When I first saw your title, I thought you were taking up a new hobby. :)
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