Missing Daddy

My husband is in the throws of "shut-down" at work. This means endless 12-hour (or more) days in a row (today is 7, we have at least 6 more). It's torture on him. Up at 4am every day, driving 30 minutes to work, working on his hands and knees or climbing ladders, using harsh chemicals and paint - all to be told it's not good enough and to work harder. It makes him crabby, beligerant, tired, impossible to be around - and yet all we want is him here - in any form.

The kids are bored of being with me. They are used to him being here for a meal now and then. They are used to someone knowing how to run the fortress of electronics. I am growing weary of single parenthood, of eating every meal without him, and of doing bedtime routines solo because 10 minutes after he gets home, he goes to bed. I also miss adult conversation. I readily admit I could NOT be a soldier's wife (God bless them).

But this morning revealed to me who is missing him most. His bright-eyed, red headed doll-baby. When he got up this morning, she heard the alarm and ran into our room, but he was already showering. She sat in the bed (remember it's 4am) and said, "I'm waiting for a kiss and hug." And she did - even with me insisting she lay down. She sat vigil, and at 4:40, he emerged ready to leave and there she was, leaping onto him from the bed, tears streaming down her face. "Have a good day at work today, daddy." When he laid her back down, she was already asleep. She just needed his wonderful, close, warm, amazing hug and kiss.

Can you hear my heart breaking?