My Heart Runneth Over

It has been over a week since my last post. Those of you who keep in touch via other means know that it’s hasn’t been a stellar week. There won’t be a10 things today, just a pouring out of my heart.

One week ago today, I had surgery, which in itself wasn’t so bad. There’s something kind of peaceful and refreshing about taking a deep breath and waking up three hours later, not having had any dreams or interruptions. But then the medicine wears off and that “I just got hit by a train” feeling takes over your whole body. Well, mine was a freight train going 300 mph. I’ve never felt so much pain in my life – and I delivered two 10-pound babies and have recovered from a c-section in my past! I couldn’t move any part of my body without assistance, I couldn't take a deep breath or turn my head. I couldn’t swallow and it hurt to talk. My husband knew something was wrong when he had to carry me up the stairs to bed because I couldn't get myself off the couch without tears of pain.

My darling husband endured much during this ordeal (he even remembered his daily gifts). As he worried over me, talked to doctors on the phone and took care of our two children, he went to get dressed to take me to the hospital and our 5-year old son began vomiting in his bed. My husband could've have fallen apart at this moment. Instead he just kept amazing me. He dealt with the mess, consoled our frightened son, got our 2-year old daughter back to sleep and arranged to take me to the ER. Without any sleep, he continued to press on. We discovered at the ER that I was reacting badly to medicine I’d been given for pain and also to antibiotic, which was making healing rough. A few hours, lots of needle pokes and tests later, we headed for home and I to bed. On Monday, I saw my surgeon again and found a post-op infection. Sleep and medicine was the order - for a week.

Tuesday, I decided to check my email and see what was going on in the world. My heart sank and pain took over again as I learned that our dear friends had sent their precious 7 month old daughter home to the Lord. This little girl had battled and overcome health issues and surgeries in recent months and was doing well. The Lord called her home suddenly on Sunday.

My husband and I attended her funeral yesterday. It was the hardest thing we've ever done. The baby’s father delivered the eulogy and his strength was remarkable. He stood at the lectern and held his two-year old son as he told of Emily's birth and life and the trials she's had to face while images of the vibrant, blue eyed baby flashed behind him. He spoke of how blessed he was to have had her in their lives for her "entire lifetime." He broke down intermittently, but held it together like you would have never believed. His testimony of faith through this was a message to everyone. There was beautiful music and as he and their eldest son carried Emily's casket to the hearse, every child on the steps of the church released a white balloon with Emily's name on it into the heavens. Emily’s mommy was a pillar of strength until the very end when Emily was finally laid to rest and the casket closed, and then she fell into a million pieces and everyone else did with her. The family huddled together and prayed over Emily. She was a remarkable little creature, truly a gift from the Lord - and how wonderfully blessed she was to have spent her "entire lifetime" in the arms of this amazing family. How blessed she is now to be in the arms of our Lord.

During his message to all gathered to say goodbye to Emily, her daddy said how lucky he was to have spent time with his daughter. He said “How often are we with our children and family, but not truly spending time with them, listening, learning, and loving.”

I know that after this week, I will hold my children tighter, love my parents deeper and cling forever to the man who loves me so completely. I will cherish my friends more and tell them so every chance that I get. I will soak up time with my grandmother and all others in my family and never be weary of telling them they are loved.

This week is not one I want to remember often. Personal battles physically and emotionally have been tremendous. But my faith is deeper for it, and the love I have in my heart runneth over.