We have a sick son. It’s not easy to admit that. We are in the midst of making huge life changes in order to cope with the surmounting medical bills, doctor visits and time requirements of getting him better. It’s overwhelming for us as parents, but we sometimes forget that it's his little body that’s working so hard – and it’s hard on him, too.
This morning, I woke him up and carried him into the living room to snuggle for a few minutes before starting the morning race. His eyes were stuck shut with gunk and he started freaking out because he couldn’t open them. A warm compress helped, but then he started crying – not the “I’m crying to make life difficult” cry, but a true “I can’t do this anymore” cry. The more he cried, the gunkier his eyes got. “Can I please just go back to bed?” he pleaded with me.
The mommy in me wanted to carry him back to bed and let him just sleep as long as he wanted. The grown-up in me knew he had to get ready for school and I had to go to work. So we pressed on, through the tears.
His Peyton Manning jersey helped to cheer him some. Curious George came on and waffles were served for breakfast – both of which helped. Soon after, the tears subsided and things were back on track...until it was time to dispense his morning dose of medication. This consists of four different meds – a pill, 2 puffs, 2 sprays and one gulp. Half way into it, he melted down onto the floor, head in his hands and the tears began again. We didn’t have to talk about it, I knew why he was doing it. His sister managed to pull him out of this one – she did some goofy thing that made him laugh and we pressed on.
In the car going to school, after dropping his sister off at daycare, he was quiet and there was no conversation. I looked back in the rear view mirror and occasionally saw him wiping a tear. But he put on his brave face and hugged and kissed me and said “Have a good day at work, mommy. I love you.” as he went into school. Then it was me who cried.
Will we ever look back at this mountain we’re climbing and see it instead as a grain of sand?
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