10 Signs That I'm Losing It

It's been about the toughest week you could ask for. In the last 7 days, I've been on a roller coaster that only those who've been there can understand. Things seem to be leveling out now, but I've encountered several moments under stress this week that have stopped me in my tracks and made me realize that I could seriously be losing it and am quite likely on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

1. Last night when I got out my birth control pill to take, I almost vomited from the mental anguish that comes with taking birth control when my tubes are already tied. How wrong is this picture?

2. I sat in a dark, beeping-like-mad ICU room and honestly couldn't recall if it was day or night. I had to ask a nurse when she said it was 7:30 if that was AM or PM. (They call this ICU-sycosis; it's a real condition - go ahead, google it!).

3. When my son asked me when school started, I told him 4 days. He held up his hand and with his fingers said, "today, tomorrow, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, then school on Tuesday...that's 6 days, mom." I told him I didn't count the day we were on or the day it started. He said, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

4. I fed my children pizza for lunch and dinner on the same day. They insisted that we'd eaten it for lunch and I said that we had sandwiches. My daughter said, "We'll just let her think that, then she'll feel better."

5. Filling out an email questionaire that was going around amongst friends, I listed "day you are looking forward to" as Sept 8 - my daughter's birthday. Um, yeah, her birthday is Sept. 9. My dear friend who shares a birthday with her had to call me on that error. Ohmigosh.

6. When discussing with my MIL who would pick up our son and niece from school on which days, I said, "I can pick them up every day during Thanksgiving break, Christmas break, Spring break, conferences, etc." She was quiet for a moment. I said, "What did I say?" She said, "Um, sweetie, they won't be in school those days." Yeah, I'm getting the blonde streaks taken out of my hair this weekend.

7. You know that falling sensation you sometimes have in bed? They say its a flashback to descending in the birth canal (I was a c-section baby, so it shouldn't apply). Anywho...I had this sensation sitting on my couch and about fell off of it - wide awake, watching tv.

8. I went to a substitute workshop and listened to the HR guy say the same things he did at the last workshop I went to. There were even the same forms to sign. I asked why I had to attend this meeting, when it was repeat. He said, "Practice makes perfect, especially when you are new." I thought about slapping him, but thought, "Ah, what the heck. I'll count it as me-time!"

9. After listening to my son beg to learn a song on our new piano, I played through "Mary had a little lamb" once for him. He put his fingers on the ivories, played the song perfectly, then moved up and octave and played it there, too. I'd NEVER shown him the concept of octaves or placement of his fingers. Ok, is this child reincarnate?

10. I searched high and low for a preschool that would take my almost-3 yo daughter. State law says you have to be 3 by Sept 1 (see #5). I found two private schools that welcomed her. When one called to confirm her enrollment, I freaked out and said, "We've decided to keep her home this year." WHAT? What just happened? Oh yeah, I remembered that most parents aren't debating what school their 2-yo should be in. She's 2. She can play with her dollies for one more year. If I can't rock her to sleep, the least I can do is give her one more year to play.

This is just icing on the cake, people. You should hear the layers of cake underneath. Those close to me say that considering what I've been through this week that it's all understandable. I don't know - I'm usually a pretty put-together lady. I guess once in a while, everyone has a little jello in their brains.